Turning back to God (Part two)

On the first part of this blog I asked “what´s your emotional background to discern you loved, liked, sexually used or honestly cherished any person?” I was not aware that –most of our “logical” responses- are governed by visceral emotions: I loved because I felt loved and I hate for the same reason.

The kingdom of God is an idealistic absolute we´re both tried and trained to be in. If I was just a mental software, a soul without human physical needs, what would I be in the need of?

Once rivalry, disloyal competence and detested differences are removed, I think we could seek another forms of love. I have no ways to know where it could be stopped but, if you have gazed at the Scripture (Isa 11:7) what type of new relations “spiritualized” humankind could build?

Probably you wanted to have a tiger as friend –or a bear as your teddy bear- and you obviously never could. Perhaps you´ve traveled a lot and you wanted to visit any planet outside this single moon which wasn´t all days there to make your nights shined.

Speculating on geographic statistics new planets seem to be needed to relocate —in a piece of land- those He has secretly chosen (Rev 7:9).

“For as the new heavens and the new earth that I make shall remain before me, says the LORD, so shall your offspring and your name remain.” (Isa 66:22)

If they´re going to live happily after —during 1.000 years- they need something more special to do in longer days (Rev 21:23-25; 22:5). What about travelling farther than this single moon?

I wish there were no weeds spoiling the seeds I have already planted in my piece of land. I am thankful that —after a full year- I can see my banana trees producing their 1^st crop and, if I had had more money, I would have bought more of them to plant so I could be well fed.  How come wouldn´t I share its fruits if I had more than enough? (I have no place to keep them from degenerative corruption).

In that blessed promised future it will be nice to go to Israel several times a year (Exo 23:17, 34:23) yet Revelations made me think it could be more than that, as Isaiah also said:

“From new moon to new moon, and from Sabbath to Sabbath, all flesh shall come to worship before me, declares the LORD.” (Isa 66:23)

If we went to worship God, I´m childish assured we would go there with those pets we may have as friends (and not as superstitious mascots).

“After all, the same fate awaits human beings and animals alike. One dies just like the other. They are the same kind of creature. A human being is no better off than an animal, because life has no meaning for either.” (Ecc 3:19)

We grew up thinking we´re the best but –like a child- I see the godhead is well concerned on them, along with our spiritual nature.

 “Let every thing that hath breath praise Yah. Halleluyah.” (Psa 150:6)

“(…) The time has come to reward your servants, the prophets, and all your people, all who have reverence for you, great and small alike. The time has come to destroy those who destroy the earth! ” (Rev 11:18)

I have no idea if I will be chosen by a pussycat or a tiger, yet I´m certain they will be a friendly safe blessing:

“They shall not hurt or destroy in all my holy mountain; for the earth shall be full of the knowledge of the LORD as the waters cover the sea.” (Isa 11:9; Hab 2:14)

Those who hunted with a hawk will be disappointed: No more hunting of any flesh! No more need to it.

Those who sinned and created malwares or viruses are left all out in painful shame:

“Outside are the dogs and sorcerers and the sexually immoral and murderers and idolaters, and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.” (Rev 22:15)

No more chance to prey on gullible people. (Mat 13:41-42)

It will be nice to live in a place where God is honored, accessed —once in a while- to be revered and known:

“And one called to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!"” (Isa 6:3) [ESV]

Meanwhile that day comes our sinful transgressions could be atoned for painstakingly:

“And he touched my mouth and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; your guilt is taken away, and your sin atoned for."” (Isa 6:7) [ESV]

I ought to clean my mind and mouth. I must surrender to Him, the One who planned I lived another day… I´d better change!

However that Bible you haven´t read was not written too cohesively to be understood by those who read what we see: Let´s pray we get it all!

Paganized syncretism

Latin Americans –as other nations- are ruled by functional idolaters. They were taught religiously according to the syncretistic teachings their parents received from their dads or moms (as I was) and, that should not cause a big astonishment, since most of them gradually rejected God as Lord or leader: When you vote for a man, you´re not vowing for a theocracy.

When they sung their hymns or read their National Constitution, or any article of their constitutional laws…

·        Were they quoting a portion of the Scripture from the bottom of their hearts?

·        Have you ever heard them saying –in a public speech: “Do not steal, do not covet, do not kill… Do not sin!”  

These men are as thick as many thieves; these are as pagans as those Romans who ruled Israel in the times of Jesus.

They abandoned God and seldom practiced the Torah [Deut 17:18] since they decided to be untouchable judges and invulnerable lawyers.

When these guys say “love” they hate. When they said “Peace” they´re preparing to war, and this is why I´m trying you to see what communism is: I don’t want to be ruled by people like these!

Do you know what country was really set free without shedding blood?

If I took literally what you could also read through those golden lines you would understand this disenchant and the traps of political life:

“You may not put a foreigner over you, who is not your brother.” (Deut 17:15)

 “You are not the same as those who don't believe. So don't join yourselves to them. Good and evil don't belong together. Light and darkness cannot share the same room.” (2Co 6:14) [ERV]

You would understand where politicians are mistaken: We have neither the same faith nor the same Lord.

How would I vote for a man they chose without looking at their heart first?

We are all sinful but, if you see me breaking the laws more than you, do not imitate my faults!

“But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart."” (1Sam 16:7)

How foolish it is to vote for those you don´t even know but their political nicknames.

Those guys surely want to be liked by voters and once those schemers got engaged on that temporal role, you would never meet them the way they were: We voted to “change” an unsocial issue, to be economically promoted or to gain an advantage in an organized situation —somewhat underhandedly.

How far is it a satisfactory distance?

It´s not hard to understand Jehovah is very demanding. He wants you to do many things well but –just for me- the inaudible distance is unbearable with this emptiness. I feel it like a stumbling block I´ve found on this hollow detachment I have perceived each time I needed Him to say few words (and they´re not those written in a book to say “I love you”) because I don´t feel I need to be loved, but to be answered or attended as any child who has been seeking his unreached Dad or dislikable Mom.

Am I the only one asking that?

“(…) because when I called, no one answered, when I spoke, they did not listen;

It is not my fault that –when He willingly talked- I wasn´t there.

(…) but they did what was evil in my eyes and chose that in which I did not delight” (Isa 66:4)

Yet I am absolutely convicted for those transgressions I did, to please myself.

Here is the key I need to follow humbly, just in case I could be heard:

“(…) this is the one to whom I will look: he who is humble and remorseful in spirit and trembles at my word.” (Isa 66:2)

Penitent amendments

I hope He was somewhere hidden reading this to be informed of my basic needs as an old child.

God does not talk directly to humans for simple reasons: He is elsewhere. He shows no favoritism. He is bored and tired of our transgressions and recurrent disobedience.

“I also will choose harsh treatment for them and bring their fears upon them, because when I called, no one answered, when I spoke, they did not listen; but they did what was evil in my eyes and chose that in which I did not delight.” (Isa 66:4)

I partly “know” these answers because I have believed the records the Israelites have had to know why He went away, but they are neither completely abandoned nor absolutely uncared, because God does love, particularly when He sees they have cried and shown tears…

The moment I read this:

“A woman does not give birth before she feels the pain. A woman must feel the pain of childbirth before she can see the boy she gives birth to. Who ever heard of such a thing? In the same way, no one ever saw a new world begin in one day. No one has ever heard of a new nation that began in one day. But when Zion feels the pain, she will give birth to her children.” (Isa 66:7) [ERV]

I saw prophetically the Israel we know now, since 1948. And, the next year (2018) it would be 70 years after Zion felt that political pain so, do you think that grownup process really ceased with a peace treaty? I have a hunch more wars will appear! I have seen how the Palestinians use their broadcasted TV programs –and other international mass Medias- to show Israel as their misanthropic enemy. It´s clear this murderous feeling forgets Israelites historically participated in that land with them before they went to Egypt starving. Yet these Arabs love to live like those who were Philistines there (Jdg 14:11).

An exact transcript of who is who?

One thing that could be regrettable it is that I could be writing here things that were fallacious to be believed. It´s undesirable (and unfortunate) you had believed anything fictional I had lied with to lure you away or to get your naïve attention. If I was honest enough, I should confess you –as a writer- I haven´t written all the things I talked with that woman I liked in the 1^st blog I have issued under “Turning back to God”. 

If you and I had enough time and an operative “tape” recorder those things you read there could be an exact transcript of what she and I actually said —yet those things were self-addressed to these notes I´m sharing with you publicly. I will not tell you where it is fictional step by step. I won´t tell I have wanted to stay longer with her, because it´s not up to me to control anything I have received undeservedly.

My concern, as any other man, it is that I might have been deceived “biblically”. That anything we´ve believed was untrue: And here it is where I wished God (or His Son Yahshua) talked to me!

As a resource -for writing- I included few fictional elements on the things I said “she talked” when I was typing. She certainly said words I did not mentioned, however, I invented words she never said.

Am I lying and sinning?

To know who is who you don´t know who I am as I don´t know you either. Although I may not be read by any of you, I´ve tried to share what I believed and here I hope God would catch what I think it is unsuitable and unfortunate from what it is conventionally called “faith”.

I already confessed I faked a portion of what I wrote about that woman I like. Writers –to make their business- do reproduce fictions, their emotional subjectivity as also you do at interpreting your own reality or the material read.

Have you imagined her like this?

 

I don´t know how many men (or women) have worked on the books of the Bible. However, there have been hundreds of “exact” copies and translations and, if there were a single “original” left, the emotional subjectivity of each reader –and translators- would be influencing the end result: To believe or disbelieve.

The things I have said are not falsified, although I made believe a fictional portion of it to teach... As you would also find at reading the book of Job!

That place where you read “A sound perception”, about Darwin… and about the idolatry of the lost ephods (Page 4 and ahead) where I also wrote: “…That´s not out of your wisdom!” I tried to be talking persuasively. In fact, it was a self-addressed monologue —She wasn´t there with us!

Please! Would you absolve me for telling that?

Now, if that could be forgiven, I wish you contemplated with me this: If someone came to tell you “the Bible has forged portions”, made-believed spiritual lessons, will you feel an empty space like I do?

An unknown ethereal will

I wish I knew when men were talking to control what they have modeled in our social demeanor, and when God really talks.

I´d beg you could see the Bible serves to modify our social behavior through its religion. It is NOT a bad thing! For centuries it has been a strong socio-political element to control us, and I wish God would deny or affirm what I said.

Since there is no way to push Him I surrender (Psa 51:17; Isa 66:2) and notwithstanding that, these confessed thoughts need its own timing to be absolutely yielded to an unknown ethereal will.

If it wasn´t that I interpret the Bible reading between lines I´ll be completely lost on this unfixable silent:

“(…) I hid my face and was angry, but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart.” (Isa 57:17)

Friends who were unfriendly ceased chatting. Spouses who got annoyed ceased talking. It is easier to hate a fiend than loving someone who often annoys. Am I right here?

I don´t want this job spoiled. I have spent too many hours to discourage any of you (in case this blog or assay may be read).

This is differently written. I reduced a long chat in portions –few fictions- because I don´t have the memories I removed or left.

Knowing the truth

The risk we all stepped in when we´ve met a person -by letters- is huge. We think we “know” them for the things we´ve read, but the fact is we know them less than any acquaintance we have poked with the scrutiny of an opened eye.

Could I know you better for the things someone said instead of watching you?

Oh God! Please! These remarks were read…

There were (and there are) too many things wholeheartedly assumed or conjectured as “true” after a lecture of the Bible. Those things we certainly read -on a piece of paper- are believed as if they were the exact true an Author possessed or thinks of but, the moment we read the Bible, we must realize that it is the translated COPY of countless lost ancient copies...

There is not one single original transcript of the original “books” and —worse than this- it is that He is unwilling to show up to teach (and reassure) each human being personally.

Seeing believes

If there were public or private manifestations that revealed who He is —person to person- life could be quite different. [Yet, the spiritual warfare we are set in is believing to obey or distrusting to disobey]

They say: Seeing is believing

If I was in the military service, if a Sargent or a Lieutenant wanted me to obey, he would not show me his strong arm. Instead of that, he would talk one more time.

I don´t need to see or touch the glory of the Almighty! I just need a token of a conceivable friendly approach.

Revision of thoughts

Could it be possible that the One who created the whole universe ignored the cravings or the innermost longings of the beings He Himself fashioned to be utterly left or ignored? [I just said this trying to explain the perception why I find it hard to love someone who is not attainable or approachable].

Note: For a healthy revision of your thoughts it is better to read what the Scripture declares.

“You will say in that day: "I praise you, LORD! You have been angry with me, but don't be angry with me now. Show your love to me.” (Isa 12:1)

“I will not accuse my people forever. I will not always be angry. If I continued to show my anger, then the human spirit, the life I gave them, would die before me.” (Isa 57:16) [ERV]

Two people who love each other will come back!

“Because of the iniquity of his unjust gain I was angry, I struck him; I hid my face and was angry, but he went on backsliding in the way of his own heart.” (Isa 57:17) [ESV]

I already said I surrendered, although my reasoning stays alive…

What if I wanted to talk to a clown? He surely had ears to dismiss me (or make me laugh).

If I wanted to say a word to an “important” president —I could be backed off by his mediators or agents! However, I could be warned I was getting too close…

Is this God completely omniscient?

“But I know your sitting down and your going out and coming in, and your raging against me.” (2Ki 19:27)

“Behold, I know your thoughts, and the devices which ye wrongfully imagine against me.” (Job 21:27) [WoY]

“For I know their works and their thoughts; it shall come a time to gather all the nations and tongues; and they shall come and see My glory.” (Isa 66:18)

“I know your works, your love and faith and service and patient endurance, and that your latter works exceed the first.” (Rev 2:19)

But this All-knowing God doesn´t know what I am saying —on behalf of millions of disenchanted seekers:

·        Is this an unfriendly act of segregation and supercilious scorn?

Psychological facts

Perhaps you have read that famous novel of Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley, published in 1818, when she was around her twenties. Her central character (Dr. Frankenstein) after finishing the being he tried to create during lengthy years, he unexpectedly realized a great psychological truth he never suspected, and here it is a brief quotation of those words, which possibly became the feeling I think God has felt for the fallen:

“But now that I finished, the beauty of the dream vanished, and breathless horror, and disgust, filled my heart.”

If I told you that young woman I liked never told me: “You don´t deserve to be more special than the world is! If the Lord Jesus knelt, fasted and earnestly prayed during nights and days, you are not more gifted than He is.” What would you feel? [That woman is not a literary fiction, but a fraction of what I´ve written]

Fictional to be nonfictional

Let´s compare two nonsensical situations, one with a woman who longs to get her 1st baby… Once she gets pregnant, will she leave him alone as an abortive, without pain, but abhorred and disgusted?

Now, on the other hand and quickly, let´s imagine a young man who has another type of long-term project: He wants to build his house abroad but, before he could be moved into another country, he needs a passport with a visa, he needs to work hard to buy an airplane ticket (and a piece of land where to lay the bricks he needs as walls). Will he abandon his homey project easily and unfinished?  “…To be or not to be…” Said Shakespeare!

A grieved heart

No doubt you would also see the divine paralleled horror pictured in Genesis when God said —like that fiction of Dr Frankenstein: “…I repent of having made them.” (Gen 6:6-7)

I can´t compare my being with the godhead. If I desired to establish analogies or similar references I ought to seek hominids, yet I believed He could be aware of human´s wiring.

An unhappy separation

A person who really cherishes -whatever he or she had cuddled with love or illusions- would happily finish any goodhearted enterprise he/she had run (unless it was a torn relationship that sadly needed a quick divorce and an unfortunate separation with no turning back).

Is this our human case?

Have we been created –like monsters with spare parts- to be utterly left?

We´ve loved our self-willed kids! 

We endured them, in spite of that they have failed and torn down. And we never designed hundreds of places intended to be a getaway or a mirror of a paradise.

I know nothing! But, to know [or love] a person who once wanted -to be loved with all our hearts, visceral strengths, clean souls or with all the might of our sinful minds- she or he needs to show up to reconvene, to negotiate mutual agreements, to make constructive amendments, to talk about those things we did wrongly in a previous split to forgive what ought to be forgiven to start anew.

Will you do that for someone you loved? I would! Except I had to be forced into an ecumenical Catholic movement with idolaters: Love is self-willed!

Tangible things

I still love and miss my dad! He wasn´t the one I would have wanted when I was a teenager, but we were friends when I was around my twenties and if I knew I will be reunited with those I loved next life, I´m sure I have too little things to get rid of here (although I´m not totally detached from kinsfolks and few earthly possessions I enjoy). God Himself should give us a chance! Heavens and a new earth are not matters ruled by our selfish democracy. These are not comprehensive things I had logical assurance, except I believed (and obeyed) what I´m been said with no proof [Like that woman already said when quoting Heb. 11]. Would I live “next” life any better than now, particularly when I´ve seen the next picture and the things I ate or shared.

Lack of coherence

They say “a picture talks a lot”… I have seen what men wrote and left handwritten. I have met a couple of actors and writers as well and, of course, I have checked the things they previously said with written records but –contradictorily- they have wholeheartedly neglected their words with facts and incoherent deeds. We tend to idealize (and idolize) anything good we´ve liked since childhood and, the moment when we actually meet those we have had correspondence, emails (or voice messages) that final step could be somewhat disappointing and, painfully awful!

Only once this life I met a woman who appeared to be better than the ones I have imagined… When you like a person you automatically assume she or he is all you have wanted. When you read about them you´re ignoring those things she or he probably ignored (or deliberately hid) and, conversely, when we read about God or a novel, we are reading about the author´s perceptions, the author´s thoughts, schemes and their subjective feelings, and we could be also wronged as she or he actually is: You cannot see through my eyes! (We are all different)

If God inspired those revered authors, what really deters Him to talk to me somehow?

If I tried to leave this bottled emptiness, –as I´m also trying to outlive though these words- what is the password or the key to be utterly heard? [Statistically I have assumed I´m not read]

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” (Joh 14:6)

Someone has written about Predestination (a thing I disbelieve).

The moment those books were opened, these lines and thoughts will be there recorded and written (Rev 3:5; Rev 20:12, 15) as the feelings I´ve got to dismay: God is real!

As the love or the air I have breathed in, without seen it [and I hope He has read my tough choice].