I’m considering progressively leaving the
Christian faith and its Jewish religion. For more than 20 years I’ve
seen there is a serious lack of
coherence in what their books say
compared to what it actually happens. If God is so huge and loving,
if his Son came to bring life and if Jesus has beaten the Evil one at
the cross… Why is He so distant -and delayed- to bring His new
worldwide kingdom?
Theocracy is not similar to democracy. There’s
no need to vote –under an international agreement- to have God as
our ruling King, since it is said He made all things. However, He has
not appeared to claim those legal rights…
At certain age we clearly know the evils humankind
dislikes and those we’ve produced and kept. And, at the present
stage of scientific knowledge, it’s easy to understand any biblical
command can be set in our body or minds as a
software code to control our evil
responses or ways: “I
will put my law within them,
and I
will write it on their hearts.
And I will be their God, and they shall be my people.”
(Jer 31:33) The discerning heart we have lacked! [Jer 24:7]
Apparently He knows all what we have inside: “The
LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that
every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil
continually.” (Gen 6:5)
The revered and idolized
Scripture says He will reign in Jerusalem and will give humans His
chosen ones to rule: “And
I will give you shepherds after my own heart, who will feed you with
knowledge and understanding.”
(Jer 3:15)
And His thoughts are similar to a huge loving
Father: “And
I
thought you
would
call me, My Father, and would
not turn from following me.”
(Jer 3:19)
- But when these things will finally happen?
- In the meanwhile, is it not easier that He talked with each human being directly and personally? At least by dreams!
If God is completely aware of the men He chose -as
kings or Prophets- have failed to rule (as Saul or David); if He is
quite aware of the lying tongue we humans have, why should we be led
by those who have made His job wrongly?
Within the length of 2.000 years the exception has
been Jesus -the Lord and Christ- but when is He finally returning?
(When can I hear an answer
to the bunch of questions I have asked in prayers or in written
form?)
You may read things, like this, elsewhere but –the
Scripture itself- warns me to believe (with a grain of salt) certain
things: “Thus
says the LORD of hosts: "Do not listen to the words of the
prophets who prophesy to you, filling
you with vain hopes.
They speak visions of their own minds, not from the mouth of the
LORD.” (Jer 23:16)
How could I discern WHEN
God is talking and where
is the opinion of mortal men?
That’s where my doubt is!
You can read this
book published in 1832 by ARCHIBALD ALEXANDER. He supports the
Christian faith while I, at this foggy corner, see something
operatively wrong on what it actually says and it’s late to be
done.
I’m not willing to worship an idol I called ”the
Holy Scripture”. I have spent too many years seeking the
One who could be sought and ‘found’
–but not by my useless aims and not by the thoughts of my ignored
written words.
The more I knew what love was made of, I
understood it needed communication and a steady relationship… Now I
see I have developed a deep relationship with my computer’s screen,
and it’s much more valued than the time I productively heard
thoughts shared with the One I tried to get from His drifting and
distant attention as long as I thought He would listen
to me to talk.
God!
Are you somewhere out there?
With this right I have to abandon an impractical
belief I kept and not planning to embrace the evil I have neither to
forget the moral I gained. I just want to leave an idol, since the
Scripture is not the word of God, but
the written voice of men who shared the experiences they got morally,
thinking they were spirituals (and sharable).
If goodness will succeed after this earthly trial,
it is okay! If I’m challenged to develop a long-lasting endurance
and merciful forgiveness, I have no choice! Although I must confess
my love is getting colder and worn out these days (and probably I’m
not bound to die forgiving those who had killed me).
How
could you push a person to love you the way you’d be pleased?
Love is a willful thing coming from mutual likes,
negotiated agreements, reciprocal interactions and a sound
communication shared (uttered words with coherent deeds).
An Earthly Illustration
Allow me to share this private issue to make an
analogy if it’s possibly compared to our human nature… Joy, my
daughter, is the type of children who would hurt any dad who simply
wanted to be heard or loved. She’s so narcissist, self-centered,
prone to public scorns (or rude attitude) that I‘m not surprised I
heard few bad reports. She thinks too high of herself (as being keen
or poised) but the moment she needs me as her father, the moment she
asks me to be there to help, I will be there to help…
Her deeds show she doesn’t love me. (I’m aware
of it!) [The pain is felt]
The things she does have shown she doesn’t love
her mom either (and she’s the nearest one who really cares for her
welfare). [I do not live with them!]
I have no way to teach her... She would not
listen! And if I wanted to give her a lesson (a loving lesson) I know
one day she could have her own children (to feel what it is like when
being hurt the way she does).
She forgot how I loved her and cared. [Obviously,
she lives her present and not the past I left].
She grew up differently [just watching her mother]
and when I got divorced, I totally got separated from them
[physically]. Then, I also lost what I’d tried to keep: My kids.
Can you see the analogy without a detailed
explanation?
A Splitting decision
We –humans- have been deprived of the actual
presence of God! We saw the sinful example of those around us
[whether it could be good or wrong] and when He returned to say
‘Hello! I love you!’ His Son Jesus was nailed and killed in a
cross: No one wants to be deprived -or dismissed- from a father (or a
mother).
Similarly to humankind, Joy is free from me. She’s
economically and emotionally independent from the parenthood I was
banned as an outlawed and, at the same time, she tries to punish me
(and her mom) for the splitting decisions we’ve made to live
separated ways… That divorce cost me my children’s love and that
was the only thing I wanted to keep from them.
We’re not prone to dismiss anything worth
keeping this lifetime. Yet, the “eternal” hope is not a thing I’d
like to get next chance I received life: I
haven’t heard God talking to me! I
lost sight if He ever cared [and talked
to me] when I needed Him to be there,
as a lost son, as an abandoned one,
just as Joy could have felt me when I wasn’t there, in a place I
never saw as a household.
Although I might –partly- understand a couple of
reasons why my daughter mistreats me or her mother with the
misbehaving I mentioned above, I can’t understand why God left me
or you (if He really wanted to be loved FIRST).
Such millennial silence cannot last too long! If
He made human race to be talkative, sensitive, dialectical as well as
visceral, God cannot be a private manifestation of a selected group!
(And if it is, He’s not God).
It’s not that I miss my dad or those persons I
have loved. It’s not that I’m afraid or feeling guilt. It’s
just that I wished I had been directed (or helped) by God Himself to
understand, to experience the life “His Son” once has said: “…I
came that they may have life and have
it abundantly.” (Joh 10:10)
I have read of men who left the RCC and several
other churches. They surely left them discontented and disappointed.
It’s not people’s failure!
It’s a simple creed made “a
doctrinal system of beliefs” that
has shown is not working (as a living society, as a nucleated family
or a well-matched marriage) to sort out actual human needs, like
those we have to be dressed, loved and fed.
Here I’ll write as if God would read me:
Can YOU understand, God, those who left a church
or those beliefs
felt disappointed, hurt and lied when we lacked the bond of a real
relationship?
I’m aware of the number of the Beast (666) but
this war is NOT mine.
I hope you would scan my thoughts soon and the
hearts of all those who left, because I could be too wrong on this
predicament and I know no faith is completely blind.
See what I see it was hidden: “After
this many
of his disciples turned back
and no longer walked with Him.”
(Joh 6:66)
“"Lord, where
would I go?... I have believed in you."”
(Joh 6:68-69)
No matter a Pope or a Protestant sheep keeper came
to pray for unity when
you’re unwilling to show up.
(Please! Try to talk
to me.)
It’s not I needed to see YOUR face, because I
needed YOUR hearable words and, if I asked some bread… You know
what it’s felt within me, deep inside.
As long as I live I would think YOU
can’t be a private manifestation of a
selected group, neither a subjective “spiritual” experience of
few… If YOU want to be known, loved or worshiped, YOU have to show
up! (Or talk to me, in a dream).
I’m not sure if the Bible truly was inspired as
the word of God. Whatever thing it is –besides it is an actual
umpteenth-handed account of religious experiences- the Spiritual
Being I needed to know (and love personally) seems to be too far to
be guessed, heard or reached out.
